Sometimes You Just Have To Say No

Today’s Blog post was inspired by Mathew 25 and based on the verses 9 – 13 (The Parable of the Ten Virgins)

Last week as I was doing my Daily Devotion while reading the Bible. I was reading Mathew 25. The day before was the great eclipse, and I sat there remembering a conversation I had with an acquaintance over 20 years ago. We were sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen discussing the Signs of the End Times.

Later that evening after the eclipse. I decided to read Mathew 24. The following day I felt led by the Holy Spirit to read Mathew 25. As I began reading the LORD started to show me through the help of the Holy Spirit that I was very much like both the Wise and the Foolish Virgins.


I specifically remember the LORD speaking to me loud and clear when I got to verse 9, “No, they replied, there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.”

The LORD really began to speak to me heavily during this verse. He said to me, “You need to learn to do that at times. You need to learn to say NO.” He then proceeded and asked me, “How many times have you given away your last, whether it be money, time or energy to others that truthfully didn’t really need your help.”

I couldn’t help but admit that the LORD was telling me the truth. I know that I had been giving away too much of myself (my oil), but it seems like often times I was having a difficult time saying no to a lot of these people. Sometimes when I did have the courage to say no, I still felt like I was being a bad person.

Even though, I knew I couldn’t continue to help them because at this point and time in my life, I needed help myself. Here I was trying to get my online soap business started, my production company up and going. GOD was really calling me to these things, but prior to that I still had a very busy life and it was getting even more busier.

About a month ago I found myself falling into a deep depression. Once again I had helped someone out of the kindness of my heart and they didn’t even have the decency to tell me they didn’t need my cheap labor anymore. I was totally devastated because once again I had sacrificed myself to help this person. I wanted to be Christ like.

I tried placing myself in the person’s shoes and I broke down and decided to help them even though I wasn’t sure if I should have. I did pray and I could have sworn that the LORD told me to help her. I believe he did tell me to help this person. And of course, the person took my sacrificial help for granted.

I became exceedingly angry. I began to question GOD by asking him, “Why is it that everyone else can benefit from me, but I can’t benefit from myself?” I decided that things had to change. However, I realized that I couldn’t do it on my own. So I sought GOD’s face for answers as to why I was going through this over and over. The LORD then directed me to this Chapter.

A few days prior HE began to show me that I had been sowing seed into the wrong territories causing me not to get a return on my harvest. I was totally shocked. I was so bent on doing the right thing, but in reality HE showed me that I was doing the right thing for the wrong people. It was kinda like throwing my pearls to swine. The bible speaks about this. GOD warns us in the Bible regarding doing this. There is no harvest to be reaped when we throw our pearls to swine.


That’s why it is important to seek GOD’s face every step of the way as we go along in life. Not saying no at times, especially when it is truly needed is also a form of disobedience to GOD. It also can cause us to be steered off course towards our God-given destiny. It can cause us to be delayed and miss what GOD truly has for us.

The person(s) who truly love you and want what is best for you. Will understand when you sometimes say no. That’ means that they were meant to be in your life. If someone gets angry with you for saying no when you have always said yes, then clearly that person definitely does not belong in your life.

The moral to the story. Stop giving away you Oil to people that don’t have your best interest at heart. Remember we have to walk in wisdom…God’s wisdom that is. I’d also like to share something that the LORD taught me a few years ago.

He said, “Arlena, you need to know the difference between,”

An Acquaintance and a Friend. A Relative and a Family Member, A Sheep and a Wolf.

“Also, you need to know when to give someone five minutes vs five hours, five hours vs five days, five days vs five weeks, five weeks vs five months, five months vs five years and five years vs a lifetime.

Let us be like the wise Virgins and prepare ourselves for life. Most importantly let us prepare ourselves for when the Bridegroom returns. Let’s make sure our wicks are trimmed and our lamps are lit. Most importantly, let us make sure we have enough oil as we wait for the return of the Bridegroom.