Words: Can lift Up or Tear Down (Pt. 2)

Often times we ignorantly say things and speak words that are not just binding on our own lives but also the lives of other people as well. There are times when words are spoken in and out of hate and spitefulness. It is important that we be careful with our words. The bible tells us that we will give account for every idle word that we have spoken.

When I overheard the words my aunt and uncle spoke over me ignorantly, those words caused the door to be opened for those spirits to enter into my life. I played a big part in that as well by believing what they said about me. Back then I was a young girl. I didn’t know anything about Salvation, forgiveness, positive thinking and godly thoughts. Instead of believing what God said about me, I chose ignorantly for 26 years to believe what the enemy allowed others to say and think about me to define my life.


Thank God I have been set free by the power and blood of Jesus Christ. I no longer see myself the way others had labeled and described me as a young dark-skinned girl growing up. Today I am a confident young woman who loves the skin she’s in. I love my complexion. The days of self-hate, low self-esteem and inferiority are long gone and over. Instead those spirits have been replaced by the power of God and the Holy Spirit.  I no longer believe the words that were spoken about me. Today I base my life on who God says I am and what He has created me for…His Kingdom and Glory. I am fearfully and wonderfully made in his image.


The best part of everything. Not only have I long forgiven both my family members who labeled me as black and ugly. The best part was one day I remember that same aunt looking at me a few years ago and saying, “Do you know you are a Beautiful Black Girl.” Silently in my thoughts, I remembered that incident that took place more than 30 years ago and thought of how great God’s goodness was. By the time she gave me that compliment I had been long delivered, but it was nice to hear her say that. I then answered politely, “Thank you. I know.”


Are you struggling with low self-esteem, self-hate or inferiority. Maybe a family member spoke some not so kind or uplifting words over your life. Maybe you have believed them just like I did. You too can be set free from that bondage. Remember that each and every one of us were created by God. We are His workmanship. We were made in His image. Remember that you too are, “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made” with love and care by the Heavenly Father.

PS: A few weeks ago as I sat on my bed while going through some rough moments and wondering if I was going to overcome. The Lord reminded me of the years I struggled with those Spirits. Those were some of the most difficult times of my life as well as some of the strongest strongholds in my life.  I never thought I would ever over come. God answered and delivered me from those evil spirits, thoughts and words that were spoken over my life. He reminded me that those spirits were some of the most difficult ones that I was dealing with and He had delivered me and set me free from them. If He delivered me from that, He will deliver me from whatever it is I am fighting right now. He’s an Amazing God.

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Words: Can Lift Up or Tear Down (Part 1)

This year will be 12 years since the Lord broke the Spirit of Low Self-Esteem and Inferiority off of my life. I carried those spirits around with me for 26 years of my life before God intervened and released me from them. Life has been so different after being set free from low-self esteem, low-self worth and inferiority.


You see my problem began back when I was a child growing up in the Caribbean. I was the only dark-skinned girl on my father’s side of the family. I was often teased because of my dark-complected skin. I remember being called ugly and tar baby by family members. I always felt very ashamed and ugly because of this. I thought those feelings would go away as I got older and became an adult. However, they didn’t. They only increased.

I would always make sure that I was well dressed, well-groomed and my hair was always well-styled and my face well-made up. Whenever I was well dressed, well-coiffed and well made up I always felt good about myself. I remember feeling that I always had to be well put together, if I wasn’t I felt extremely ugly. I also liked the attention I would get back then. I hid my pain and low-self esteem and low self worth under some of the nicest clothes, fanciest hairstyles and Flori Roberts or Fashion Fair make up, powder and blush (my favorite) at the time.


I remember when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I was in my bedroom when I heard one of my aunt’s and uncle’s having a conversation. They were comparing their nieces and nephews. I remembered when they got to one of my cousins that is a year older than myself. I remembered them saying, “Oh, she is going to grow up to be such a beautiful young woman when she gets older.”

I was up next. I was so excited to hear how I was also going to grow up to be a beautiful young woman as well. I stood behind the door as I was listening to the conversation. I stood there behind the door as I anxiously awaited to hear the words that I too was going to grow up and be a beautiful young woman.

Even though this conversation took place many years ago. Over 30 years to be exact. I remember every single word like it was yesterday. My aunt said, “What about Arlena?” My uncle responded, “Oh God! She’s black and ugly.” They both burst out laughing along with other who were also present listening to the conversation. I stood behind the door with my heart and self worth shattered to pieces. I will never forget the way I felt. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach…by my very own.

The Spirit of low self-esteem, low self-worth and inferiority kicked in. I carried that around with me for decades. I became even more introverted than I already was to begin with. I always pushed people away because I thought maybe they too thought I was black and ugly and would not want anything to do with me. After all, my family thought I was black and ugly, so therefore other people had to feel the same way. I became difficult to deal with because of the scars that were set in motion by the enemy of my soul through the words that had been spoken ignorantly over me at the particular time and place of my life.