Emotional Nudity

Emotional Nudity – This is an old Facebook Blog post that I wrote on January 03rd, 2015. I am slowly getting back to this beautiful place of Emotional Nudity that I discovered in 2013 and embarked upon. In early 2020 I once again began closing up, that is until God used someone to help open up that heart again. However, I am taking it day by day as I get back to where I was from 2013 to January of 2020.

About a year ago (2013) I began my journey to Emotional Nudity. I came across this in 2013. I decided to give it a try.  I grew up as an introverted child for the majority of my life up until about 3 years ago. I grew up in an environment where we never showed emotion or affection. I always had a hard time showing love even though I had a Big heart. Only certain people were privileged to me expressing that emotion called Love.  As I was about to turn 40 I knew I wanted to make a change. I needed to come up higher and better.

In 2010 I had the hard task of taking a look at myself in the mirror. No, I’m not talking physically, but emotionally. It was one of the most difficult things I had to do. However, I also have to admit it was one of the best things I ever did. It wasn’t an easy process, especially after carrying years of Emotional Pain and Baggage that was really becoming a very cumbersome load for me to carry. It was displayed all over my face and in my attitude. 

As the LORD began sifting me out, and I began to draw closer. I truly wanted to make a change. However, the change didn’t fully come until 2013 when the LORD gave me the ability to come in contact with three individuals whom He used to touch my life in such a profound way. By the Grace of GOD, He used them to show me how to reach deep into my soul and express the love outwardly. I always had love within me. I just had a problem expressing it especially to a lot of individuals. 

GOD used these three individuals to teach me how to love openly without fear of rejection.  They had some of the Biggest hearts. There was no rejection or judgement, just pure love. As they would loved me even at times when I would just put up my Emotional wall because I was afraid to let anyone in. After all, everyone who I had let in (Family, Friend, Relationship, etc), I always seemed to walk away with my heart torn in pieces.

I began to closely sought GOD about this. Obviously, something was wrong in my camp. I realized because of growing up and facing a lot of Rejection. I often gravitated towards the wrong people. People who I really and truly thought had my back, who really didn’t. Long story short. I wanted a change. So yes, I began to draw closer to GOD (The Lord)and allowed these three individuals to teach me how to love openly I stumbled upon something called Emotional Nudity.

I began doing some research on Emotional Nudity and decided to give it a try. I have to admit. It was scary as heck. It was like being caught naked with all the imperfect parts of your body hanging out. I’d stick my toe in the water to test the waters then draw back out of fear when someone showed a little too much affection, or if I was expected to return that affection. Slowly but surely as I got deeper and deeper in my walk. The hardness of exterior shell (my cocoon) that had protected me Emotionally for so long began to chip away more and more.

As I stand here today. I can truly say I can love openly and freely without fear.  However, I have realized not everyone is open to receiving or embracing that love. At first it was difficult for me to understand. However, GOD showed me that at one point and time that was also me. So as I go about every day I try to make it a habit to brighten somebody’s day. Even if it’s with a smile, or a compliment. I can truly say that when I allowed my walls to come down and I allowed GOD to do the work that He began in me since 2010.  I am a much better person today than I was a few years back. Thank GOD for His tender mercies and care. To bring me to a place in my life that I call BETTER!!!

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